Memo to Abu Musab al-Zarqawi, re: "Your dumbass beheadings"

God, you're a fucking moron. Not that I or anybody else who actually cares about the well being of our troops minds, of course. The more time and resources you place into hunting for victims to behead, the less time and resources you spend on planning actual large attacks that will kill mass amounts of people. You're doing us a favor, so, really, keep it up.

Eventually, it will come to a point where beheadings aren't even shocking anymore. It's like a song that gets overplayed on the radio... Oh, sorry, you're probably not familiar with the concept. I imagine you're a bit too off the deep end religious to drink, listen to music, have premarital sex, and generally loosen up a bit. Allow me to explain: Here in Infidelistan, we all have little boxes that music comes out of. We can even switch to different songs! It's amazing. Anyways, when new songs are released, sometimes they come out of the box. Among these lucky songs, some come out of the box too often, and people get get of hearing them. That's when they become "overplayed."

This is exactly what's happening with all your little beheadings. And believe me, my government didn't give a shit about beheadings in the first place. Do you honestly think that a couple beheadings will scare Bush & Co.? Last year, Saudi Arabia beheaded 52 prisoners and we still support them. More recently, my government not only supports but trained the Afghan soldiers who beheaded Taliban members. Really, do you think your little spectacles have caused any member of my government to question their policy on Iraq?

Yes, you're still shocking the American public, but that won't last for long. Refer to the policy on overplaying. Plus we're fickle and have very short memories. I know that concept is lost on you, since your culture holds grudges for hundreds of years, but believe me: fickle is in here. If you keep up this weekly pace of beheadings, it'll become old hat. Non-news. Back of the A-section in two months, tops. No more attention for poor wittle you.

Al-Zarqawi, my friend, your beheadings are doing absolutely nothing. Go ahead and kill that US Marine/Muslim you have in your custody. Go ahead and behead a fellow Muslim, because if you haven't pissed off any common Iraqi citizens yet, that's sure to do it. I know our troops aren't doing their best to win over hearts and minds in Iraq, but I'd expect our enemies to take the moral high ground as opposed to being lower than dogshit. But if beheading is your game, keep it up. Hopefully it keeps you from waging a war of attrition, and more of our soldiers come home sans the pinebox.