Why I can't read Ann Coulter, part 5907459743987589537980782 and a fucking half

Her latest column, "IN DESPERATE MOVE, KERRY ADOPTS PUPPY," Coulter begins with this sentence:

I guess with John Kerry's choice of John Edwards as his running mate, he really does want to stand up for all Americans, from those worth only $60 million to those worth in excess of $800 million.

Thanks for the insight, Ann. Now if you admit that you're a hypocrite because your candidate is rich and beholden to billionaires, maybe, just maybe, I'll finally read through one of your columns without getting the ominous feeling that I need to put my head through a wall halfway before finishing.

I'm not holding my breath.