Okay...

So you've got a choice: Coca-Cola or Diet Coke.

Which one do you pick? Do you pick the real deal, or the cheap imitation that lacks in taste? For those who are not diabetics, hypoglycemics, or dieters, they'll pick Coke, of course.

And that, in a nutshell, explains the 2004 election. The gluttonous swine of America said, "We want something with flavor!," and proceeded to pull a lever, draw a line, touch a computer monitor and not receive a paper receipt for their vote; whatever suits your fancy. They drank the Kool-Aid -- er, I mean, Coke, and voted for Bush.

But is it fair to be vindictive and blame them for their vote? Bush got 59 million votes, but this certainly doesn't mean there's 59 million evangelical whackjobs running around this country. Try placing yourself in the mindset of a normal, middle-of-the-road, swing voting, non-blog reading, 8-10 hours a day working, taking care of family and children, relying on the newspaper and television for knowledge, American. You think that Bush attacked Iraq because he was defending America, and you don't hear about all the bad news emanating from the war since the mainstream media doesn't do their goddamn jobs. You know the economy stinks, but you lost your well paid manufacturing job to Mexico when Clinton signed NAFTA. You have to work long hours to keep your health insurance, which the costs for are skyrocketing. You're old ass Ford just broke down again. You don't have time to worry about politics, global issues, or whether or abortion will be outlawed by the Supreme Court. But you have to choose between these two weasels who are really just saying their version of the same thing. One is the president, and the other one... He just seems like he's trying to emulate the president, and he's not doing a good job. Vote for the incumbent and you know what you're getting. Vote for that other guy and you don't, because he just seems like a weaker version of the incumbent.

Why drink Diet Coke when you can get a Coca-Cola? Why vote for Bush lite when you can have the real arbusto? The swing voters, those who are part of no campaign's base, decided they wanted Coca-Cola because Diet Coke is, well.. It's diet.

I think many of us on the progressive side of the fence chose not to criticize John Kerry for his shortcomings once he became the nominee. I know I'm guilty of doing such. Was this a mistake? I'm going to ponder whether or not it was for a long time. On one hand, criticism of Kerry on the left would have given the GOP more ammo to fire at him. But when we didn't criticize Kerry for moving to the center and becoming Bush lite, that ultimately led to his downfall.

We can only hope that the Democrat Party has finally, finally learned that shifting to the right to battle the right just doesn't pay off in the end. It doesn't make you an alternative; it just makes you an asshole. And why should we aspire to be assholes? What red-blooded American child excitedly tells their parents, "Mommy! Daddy! When I grow up, I wanna be an asshole!" Think about it. Moving to the right is absolutely ridiculous! What good has it done? To appease the right, Clinton gutted welfare and hastened globalization, both of which have helped place us in the economic doldrums we currently live in. Gore, Mr. Environment, was dispatched to Japan to weaken the Kyoto Accords. And despite how much of a shitty candidate he was, he would have the 2000 election hands down if he didn't pick an absolute dickhead like Joe fucking Lieberman for his running mate. And if I ever hear "Nader! Nader! It's his fault!" again, I'll smack the shit out of the person who said it. If you want somebody to blame for placing America right in the barrel of the neocon's rifle, blame Clinton. Blame Gore. Blame Kerry. Blame Daschle. Blame Lieberman. Blame, and fire, McAuliffe.

I've got the perfect man to replace McAuliffe: DNC Chairman Ralph Muthafuckin' Nader. He's perfect for the job. He's allergic to the center and he doesn't take any goddamn fucking shit. And since his pockets are open to the Republicans, maybe he can circulate some some filthy, but always needed, lucre into the party.

Okay, that last paragraph was a joke. But this shit seriously has to stop. Moving to the right to combat the right is a strategy that had it's time, and now it deserves to be buried. It's fundamentally wrong because it inherently places us on the defensive. And if we're on the defensive, we're not going to win any elections. We're not going to have any power. We'll continue to look like bubmling fools with kooky, crackpot ideas that no "normal" American would ever swallow.

The only way we'll take this country back is by forcing the Democrats to be the party of the left again. They need to become an actual alternative, not a bunch of assholes.

Let 2004 being the official start date for the Nonassholeization of the Democratic Party. The organizations that were built around the Kerry campaign are made up of people who would have/did do the same work for Nader in 2000, and we've got to keep those progressives with us and continue building upon their infrastructures. I know I've aired my reservations against the Get Out The Vote effort since Kerry didn't win, but GOTV did work. It did earn us some victories. Yesterday, (my sister) Kerry left a comment saying New Hampshire's Republican Governor Benson was voted out of office, the first incumbent GOP NH Governor to not serve a second term since the 1920's. I can't help but think that this victory was due to the strong GOTV effort in NH, which also helped Kerry win the state by a narrow margin. This is a victory; it's definitely a positive.

We have to face the facts that we're not going to defeat Bush. Ever. No recount is going to keep him from becoming president, and any articles of impeachment against him will ever be successful, so let's not even try it. Bush won the popular vote, and thus the mandate, so now we have to combat him on his level. We can't waste our energies on efforts that won't harm him. And we can't combat Bush by becoming a weaker version of him. The only way we can fight the GOP is if the Democrats move back to the left and become an actual alternative to the Republicans again.