I really feel safer with Bush in office. Really!

He's done so much to prepare us for the next attack, let me tell ya.

Two years after a report on the 2001 anthrax attacks was completed, the Pentagon has released parts of the unclassified document, which concludes that the nation is woefully ill-prepared to detect and respond to a bioterrorist assault.

In a sweeping assessment, the report identifies weaknesses in "almost every aspect of U.S. biopreparedness and response." But perhaps equally significant is the two-year battle over the Pentagon's refusal to release the study. That struggle highlights the growing tension between public access to information and the government's refusal to divulge anything it says terrorists could use to attack Americans.

I just don't know what the silly liberal media is talking about. Of course Bush has prepared us! They gave us Ready.gov, the site that tells us citizens to be ready for the next terrorist attack because you know it's fucking coming! (Wouldn't it be more proactive to have "Prevent.gov"?) And let's not forget what they told us to do in case of a chemical attack by terrorists - Seal off your home with duct tape and plastic! Don't allow any air to get in! Which means you'll suffocate and die after a few hours, but hey, at least you didn't die from any nasty chemicals!

God, I think the next Bush program to combat terrorism is to give every citizen a gun with a note, "In case of terrorist emergency, place gun in open mouth and pull trigger." This makes about as much sense as the rest of the shit they've done.

And let's not forget the priceless pictures our government provided to us through Ready.gov.

Man, if we could only be as calm as Joe Average here, pondering the swirling vortex of fish.