This man should write children's books

File under "nutjob".

Last Wednesday the Brighton school practiced a lockdown that was supposed to teach students emergency procedures. All classrooms had to lock their doors, but one first-grade room didn't. That's when the principal went in to the classroom and did something that traumatized the students, a parent said.

"He went up to each one of them and went, 'Bam, bam, bam!' And said, 'You're dead,'" said parent Jeanie Styer.

OK, besides the obvious, I've got a question: if there's a person with a gun in the building and they want to enter a classroom to kill somebody, what use is it to have the door locked? A gun is the best lockpick available!

Anyone have some more layers of stupidity to add to this story? Can we get a quote from Heston?