Blogging from Mars

Ladies and Gentlemen, what I have to annouce is one small step for blogs, one giant leap for the blogosphere. I, tas, your fearless Loaded Mouth, am the first blogger in history to post from Mars.

Yup. You heard me right. I'm getting my blog on here on the freakin' red planet. I know what you're thinking, "How did he get there?" Honestly, I'm not sure, but I must be here. It's the only plausible explaination I can gather, because I'm certainly seeing red right now.

I feel like I'm on a planet other than Earth. I don;t make an effort to watch TV, and when I do flip it on, I don't get the major news channels like Foxnews, CNN, CNBC, and MSNBC. I choose to get my news from services that don't regard making up stories about Dean and giving us Whacko Jacko coverage every minute of the day as quality journalism. Sometimes these "Services" spin stories that aren't really news and make them news. (Actually, they do that quite often.) Sometimes these Faux-stories become so big that they can't help but spill over into the forms of media that I read. (Here on Mars, of course.) Then I have to look at the cable news outlets to se the monster they've created, look at the actual news I reading that isn't getting coverage an go, "WHAT THE FUCK?! I must be living on another planet!"

Well, I am correct, because here I am on Mars! I'm not sure how long I've been Marsing it for, but this planet is certainly more sane that big blue marble to the east of me. (Or is it west? Oh, wait, there's no direction in space. But I'm on Mars, they must have magnetic poles here, right? Where's my compass, I'll figure this out soon enough.) Ah, where wanderlust will take a kender..

Where was I? Oh, yes, that big blue marble. You humans are fucking insane! Honestly, folks, you have a president who lies to you on a daily basis and can't even properly pronouce his fibs, but the media thinks nothing of it. We don't know how many times this president has looked stupid at a press conference, bumbled words and been unable to display a hint of coherent thought, because the media hardly ever shows it. CBS shows it every once in a while, but not CBS news.. Letterman!

But if Dean dares to raise his voice, BAM! It's gotta be news! EXTRA! EXTRA! DEAN RAISES HIS VOICE! NATION IN SHOCK, WHISPERING "how could he do such a thing? doesn't he know he might harm the eardrums of young children? think about the children." HORROR! PANIC! DEAN SUPPORTS LOUD TERRORISM AND MURDERS SMALL, INNOCENT PUPPIES!

It's. Not. News.

I'll tell you what is news. This, via dKos, is news.

Republican staff members of the US Senate Judiciary Commitee infiltrated opposition computer files for a year, monitoring secret strategy memos and periodically passing on copies to the media, Senate officials told The Globe.

Yes, you read that right. Obviously the Republican Party have not learned fromt he mistakes of one Richard Millhouse Nixon. All we need is the news media to report on this crime, except the news media doesn't actually report the news anymore. It's too bad because the news media wouldn't even have to investigate this story, the main Republican responsbile came out and admitted this happened!

Hatch also said that a "former member of the Judiciary staff may have been involved." Many news reports have subsequently identified that person as Manuel Miranda, who formerly worked in the Judiciary Committee office and now is the chief judicial nominee adviser in the Senate majority leader's office. His computer hard drive name was stamped on an e-mail from the National Abortion and Reproductive Rights Action League that was posted along with the Democratic Senate staff communications.

"There appears to have been no hacking, no stealing, and no violation of any Senate rule," Miranda said. "Stealing assumes a property right and there is no property right to a government document. . . . These documents are not covered under the Senate disclosure rule because they are not official business and, to the extent they were disclosed, they were disclosed inadvertently by negligent [Democratic] staff."

Miranda may not think he did anything wrong, but I'll tell you this much: if a democrat stole confidential Republican files in this manner, the Republicans would raise their voices to levels Dean can only dream of hitting. How utterly fucking amazing. The guilty party, who reports directly to the number one Republican in the Senate I might add, gives a lame excuse and basically admits that he stole files from the Democrats. He admits this to the news media. We're not even seeing a denial here, the criminals are coming right out and saying, "Yup, we did it, and we don't it's wrong."

And they're getting away with it, because what stories are you bombarded with if you flip on the tube? Dean "screaming" and Michael Jackson diddling little boys. Not only are these "stories" considered more newsworthy, but the Republicans are so confident that the media won't report their crimes, their scandals, that they come right out and admit it when they're caught. AND NOTHING HAPPENS!

When the non-news and the news hit me, I thought I was living on another fucking planet. In fact, I was right. Shit like this just doesn't happen in a normal place. Criminals can't come oput and admit responsibility without the fear of punishment. People screaming doesn't make headline news across the nation. Boy, I sure am happy that I'm living on a sane planet. If Bush gets his way, maybe you can join me soon.