Dispatches from Conservistan

You can't escape the story of how many Bush/Kerry signs are being vandalized and outright destroyed in Cincinnati. There seems to be equal guilt on both sides, but that's not how the Republican media here likes to view it. The Cincinnati Enquirer well mention it, but the picture accompanying the front page story shows a Bush support holding his crumpled up sign. Then Andy Furman will take the story and run with it, blaming everything on Kerry supporters, saying that they also must be destroying their own signs just to make things look equal. Then he takes a caller, which is never a Kerry supporter, always a Bush supporter with something horribly terrible to say about Kerry or his supporters. One insisted that a Kerry supporter lobbed f-bombs at her, with her children in tow, all because she had a Bush sticker on her car.

Riiiiight.

There is one Bush sign I'm glad to see gone. I was forced to see it when I drove to my friends apartment, 4x8, huge... The fucker was even lighted at night. But somebody torn it down and left it on the road Monday morning, right in the lane I was going down. I wished I could have stopped on the sign and peeled out to tear it apart.

Tuesday, my friend and I got caught up in traffic for half an hour 100 feet away from her apartment. The cops were everywhere, but there was no accident up ahead, they just had traffic closed for, apparently, no reason. Come to find out later that Heartattack Dick was in town, and the police needed to shut down roads just to make sure his highness could get down the big, bad streets of white, suburban, western Cincinnati. We had no clue it was the veep that held up traffic until one of her neighbors said so, and then suggested that it would be better to just stuff him into a trunk of some unconspicuous car and get him to the airport that way without holding up hundreds of commuters. I then offered to drive the car.

Yesterday, Jenna and Barbara were in town. They took in a NASCAR rally in Cincinnati, then shot upto nearby Oxford to partake in a rally at Miami University. One of my ex's, whose not only a Republican but also a Miami U. alum, used to have a Miami U. College Republicans tee-shirt. I have it now, and no, surprisingly enough, it hasn't been burned yet! I should hvae known better than to leave it home, because I could have worn it and blended in at the rally. I may look older than your average college student, but I'm already fat and balding just like a normal Republican, so I think they'd accept me. Then I could have whipped out a huge Kerry sign and see how long it takes to get arrested. :)

Just being out here, though, makes me feel like I am part of the political process. I can flip on the TV and actually see a political commercial. I can't do this is RI because nobody gives a shit about us. Our wonderous electoral college system is supposed to give more power to voters in small states, but that's certainly not the case in RI. We may get the veep and first lady to visit, but never the head hencho. So being out in a state that actually matters is great, I great to see commercials calling John Kerry a liberal on a daily basis. There is not one time when the word "LIBERAL" doesn't appear on the screen. I think the latest one said, "John Kerry is a liberal... AND HE'LL EAT YOUR FIRST BORN! Kerry even voted for eating first born's in the Senate!"

Ahhhh, I wonder what today will bring.